Raising Children in a Divided Land: A Mother's Perspective

Deborah Danan, a mother of three in Israel, has learned surprising truths about her children since the October 7 terror attack and the ensuing war in Gaza. She shares her experiences of navigating the complexities of raising a family in a mixed city, where Jews, Muslims, and Christians coexist, and the challenges of shielding her children from the harsh realities of conflict.

Navigating the Complexities of a Divided Land

### A Diverse Community, Fraught with ChallengesDeborah Danan and her family live in a mixed city in Israel, where people of different faiths and backgrounds coexist. While she loves the diversity, she acknowledges that living side by side can sometimes be fraught with complexities. The city's mixed nature is in contrast to the more religiously homogeneous neighborhoods of Jerusalem, where Danan previously resided.### Protecting Her Children from the Horrors of WarWhen the news of the October 7 terror attack and the subsequent war in Gaza began to emerge, Danan went to great lengths to shield her three children, especially her eldest, a highly sensitive 8-year-old, from the disturbing details. She made sure the news was turned off whenever her daughter entered the room and stifled any conversations about the situation within her earshot, fearing the potential for lifelong trauma.### Facing the InevitableDespite Danan's efforts, the harsh realities of the conflict eventually caught up with her family. One day, her daughter was home alone during a rocket siren, and Danan had to guide her over the phone to seek shelter in the building's stairwell. To Danan's relief and surprise, her daughter remained calm and composed throughout the ordeal, with a neighbor, an Arab Muslim, taking her into her own safe room until Danan returned.### Adjusting to the New NormalNearly nine months after the October 7 attacks, the family has settled into a new routine, with schools reopening and people gradually returning to their daily lives. However, the reminders of the conflict are ever-present, from posters of hostages to the constant news of deaths. Danan finds herself torn between the desire to educate her children about the realities around them and the instinctual urge to shield them from the harsh truths.### Fostering Compassion and UnderstandingIn one particularly poignant moment, Danan spoke to her daughter about the plight of their Arab friends and neighbors, who are caught in a precarious duality, concerned for their own well-being as Israeli citizens under fire, as well as that of their loved ones in Gaza. Danan's daughter's capacity for compassion and comprehension of the complex situation astonished her, and it continues to do so.Raising children in a divided land is a delicate balancing act, as Danan has discovered. While the challenges are ever-present, her family's resilience and her daughter's empathy offer glimmers of hope in the midst of the conflict.